Redefining Adulthood: My angry response to the New York Times article asking me when I was going to grow up?

Recently the New York Times published an article called “What is it about 20-Somethings?” that opens with the question “Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up?” The author Robin Marantz Henig cites popular media that depicts children moving home, statistics that show a third of young adults move every year and have been competing for temporary jobs, like Teach for America, in increasing numbers in order to prove 20-somethings are not achieving “adult milestones.” The article also discusses Jeffery Jensen Arnett’s view that a new life development stage, called “Emerging Adulthood” needs to be added to describe the new path Gen Yers are taking.

Umm say what?! A new life cycle stage?! I think the author missed the boat on this one. Just because myself and other genY cohorts want a life filled with meaning, spontaneity and frequent change doesn’t mean we’re not an “adult;” we’re just changing the old, boring definition of it. Based on characteristics that the article lays out for a typical “adult” 20 something year old, I am far, far away from being an adult and probably never would be, despite my well-paid, steady job and no outstanding debt. I just moved into my current house in July and plan to be in a new place by January. My parents still pay for my car insurance and phone bill and I am making car payments to them for the next six months, so I’m definitely not financially independent. Do I want to stay with my job for the next 10 years? Too early to say, I have no idea what I want to do this weekend, much less in a year from now. And the mere thought of getting married and having children makes me want to gag (don’t tell my mother). I’m too busy planning my happy hours and weekend getaways for such substantial thoughts to cross my mind. However, I still say I’m an adult- I put in nine hours of work a day, organize community service events and have had to make a number of very adult decisions this year. I also would definitely say I am more organized and conscious of others than the majority of thirty something “adults” I know.

My current path and future desires are fairly typical of genYers. A friend confessed to me a few weeks ago that she freaks out at the thought of staying at her current job for more than a year or two even though she actually loves it. She just needs variety in her life. Another friend spent a year teaching English in Korea then did AmeriCorps for a year in Lansing and is now looking at other options for when her year of service is done. The author cites 20 somethings taking temporary jobs as a sign that the individual isn’t ready to be an adult. However, my friend has made HUGE differences in both of these communities. Probably even more so than a lot of individuals in the communities who have been at their job for 40+ years. I think genYs willingness to take temporary jobs with organizations like AmeriCorps, Teach for America, etc. is an indication of their unselfish dedication to make the world a better place, a very adult thought in my opinion.

The article ends on “If it really works that way, if this longer road to adulthood really leads to more insight and better choices, then Arnett’s vision of an insightful, sensitive, thoughtful, content, well-honed, self-actualizing crop of grown-ups would indeed be something worth waiting for.” Well, thanks for a positive view of our future BUT wake up, we already are insightful, sensitive, thoughtful, content, well honed and self-actualizing. We’ve been working our butts off to get good grades, to get unpaid internships because many of the current “adults” wouldn’t otherwise pay us for meaningful work and are committed to making the world a better place in our jobs and in the things we choose to get involved with outside of it. Don’t tell me I’m failing to grow up because I’m not following the traditional five steps to adulthood. It’s time for a new definition that fits with this radical new generation of GenYers that want meaning, spontaneity, inspiration, etc., not a pre-defined path of “milestones,” or our own special life stage.

Hello!

Hi all, I’ve started this blog to write about the places I travel to in the next two months, as well as to continue to keep my mind thinking about how GenY connects to a University/City!